Congress Manifesto makes Trump angry, ISIS has decided to return. Pakistan and Kashmir in Jubilant mood.

The Congress manifesto, which was released on Tuesday by party president Rahul Gandhi, added that the Armed Forces (Special Powers) Act and the Disturbed Areas Act in Jammu and Kashmir will be reviewed.

This has sent a wave of joy in Ummah. Especially Pakistan military has been so jubilant that they have decides to scrap the Ghazwa-e-Hind, the key document taken straight from Koran that dreams of Muslim conquests in the Indian subcontinent and unfurling Pakistani flag on red Fort in Delhi.

It was revealed that the manifesto was written with the help of Koranic Scholar Zakir Nalayak who is currently spending long summer in Indonesia and has a foreward by him and Hafiz Sayyad.

Our sources confirmed that even Kashmiri has started hoarding stones. Two of the biggest quarries in Bellary district in Karnataka has been bought by Gilaknee family in hope of reviving the annual festival of stone pelting. A resident of Sophian said, “Ever since the Demonetization happened the stone pelting took a hit and we have not even have had a single Sang Baaz (The ace stone thrower) from the valley and our hopes of participation in Arab Olympic had dimmed. But now by alla and pappu’s grace the game will be revived.

While at the other corner of the world POTUS Donald Trump is furious. He says, “How the f*ck congress make such a manifesto just to win the election?” He is to have a meeting with Putin soon to decide about to control the territories in Syria and Iraq to prevent smuggling of Congress Manifesto there.

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